idiot

Pronunciation: ` I – de - at (usually offensive)

noun informal
- a stupid person.

synonyms:
fool, ass, halfwit, nincompoop, blockhead, dunce, dolt, ignoramus,cretin,imbecile, dullard, moron, simpleton, clod.

Wonder if our dictionaries too are censored. Why else would they have defined idiots using just about a dozen harmless words…? Given a chance we would have liked to add a few choice words of our own. But since idiots seem to multiply faster than rabbits on Viagra, it would take me a century to introduce you to the entire species. So, in public interest, I’d stick to those, that affect us the most – those likely to give you a free pass to your own funeral…

TYPE 1:  THE EARPHONE/HEADPHONE CLAD IDIOT 

 

‘Eminem’ caps and ‘Metallica’ tees are not the only indication…you find them moderately dressed too. I kid you not! With their fist made ‘V’s and ‘U’s swaying to their hard rock tunes, they are transported to their whole new pseudo world, only to be rudely awakened by an indignant pedestrian. That’s when you know what you’re up against. The only remedy I suggest is a Christ’s Smile – Forgive them, coz they don’t know what they’re up to…

TYPE 2 : THE ‘TO DO OR NOT TO DO’ IDIOT 

 

Should I have a Blueberry cheesecake or a pancake for dessert? Will I ever get the right girl? Mutual funds or SIPs?

There is certainly no harm in thinking about your life. But trying such stunts during peak hour traffic ?? That’s a clear sign you’ve come across a ‘To do or not to do’ type of idiot… and as you screech to a halt, all you can do, hope and pray is that you don’t break anything more than his chain of thoughts…

TYPE 3 : THE DEPRIVED IDIOT 

 

There are a few things in life we don’t have the liberty to choose – like our parents, our names or even the schools we go to, to name a few…And the same goes for this guy (oops! Idiot) who’d been forced to spend his puberty in an ‘all boys’ school with nothing but a few Magazines (and hands of course) for company. How else would you explain a grown-up, forcing you to stop dead in your tracks, just to admire a member of the opposite sex?? And just when he chooses to make your life on the road as deplorable as his teens, he jumps straight into my list!

TYPE 4 : THE ‘I KNOW IT ALL’ IDIOT 

He, who considers himself no lesser verb than ‘Google’, the ‘I know it all’ Idiot….With an in-built Encyclopaedia, he always has an answer, an opinion on everything under the Sun. Be it the latest gadgets and gizmos or the current happenings, he is one Bimbo, who can easily and very confidently take you for a ride. Be it misguiding you to board a wrong bus or wrong directions, these ‘Omnipresent’ species are undoubtedly the toughest to identify..!

TYPE 5 : THE ‘LOUUV LORN’ IDIOT !

He hides like a Trojan on your FB friends list and has the greatest of all hassles in life…This ‘Devdas’ of sorts who seems perennially disinterested from the materialistic world, seeks solace only in the dreams of his ‘khwaabon ki mallika’…An idiot for some, an entertainer for the rest, he is one specimen you've gotta watch out for!

And, it doesn't quite end here. But, it does give you the hope to bear with them, being well-versed with their commonest types. As Einstein aptly puts it “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former”. Trust me, you’ll find them packed like sardines in a tin, here, there and everywhere and as a TV commercial aptly puts it ,

 “Our streets are filled with idiots, isn't it?”

“Haan haan main crazy hoon” – some would protest..!

-  Sushant Singh Bhatia.

Inspired by CEAT’s ‘Our streets are filled with idiots’ campaign. 

by Muf 08:41 2 comments

It was a cold winter evening, bare trees stood shamelessly as the wind blew, watching folks play delightfully with snowballs, and snowmen alike, slipping, tripping, ice skating over frozen lakes and ponds. The wind resonated with sounds of laughter and merriment, not very far away sat a slightly tense Tyson, today was his big day.

He knew he was going to do it, "no more holding back" he thought as he waited, rather paced to and fro, around that small wooden bench. Not very far away from the public view, yet had an amazing sense of privacy around it. Maybe that's why Alexis and Tyson loved this place, it was like a home away from home. they'd study, talk, laugh, cry, go crazy, and quite literally grow up around this place.

It was "their place".

Many were surprised at how these two 18 year olds could spend hours just sitting there, either engaged in an animated conversation, or enjoying the muted silence which lingered on between them. Tyson and Alexis had liked each other ever since they understood what they word meant. The feelings had always been pretty strong, but both rationalized it under the name of friendship. He could never forget how she laughed every time he did something stupid, or even the times when she fell and laughed at her own clumsiness.. never forget the twinkle in her eyes when he gave her a hand made bracelet for her 16th birthday, and how it never left her wrist ever since the minute he tied it there. She on the other hand never got past his beautiful green eyes, his chiseled jawline, the way he gesticulated when he was particularly enthused about something, the warmth of his reassuring hugs when she leaned on him for support, his scent, the strength of his character, his tender care.. they both loved each other, and never acknowledged it.

Tyson was struggling for the perfect words since the past 3 years, and yet nothing he could come up with would ever be close to perfect.

She finally arrived after what seemed like an eternity (which was actually only 15 minutes..!) there he was, dressed casually, and yet something about him was particularly attractive and it made her weak in her knees.

A little away from the bench was the shack they'd built together, it was their own little "lake house" as they called it. Both their parents knew where exactly to find the kids if they weren't home or at each others place. Only this time, Alexis' parents were out of town, and Tyson had his aunt come over.. perfect excuse to stay out of home. The minute he set his eyes upon her, he was never able to get them off.. she was her usual tomboyish self and yet exuded so much of feminine grace and beauty, that a combination like that was rather hard to let go of.

From a distance, she could see, the shack was lit up with small dim lights, was made very cozy, now especially during the winter, it was a must; to not have to do it herself, made her feel both relieved and slightly worried, she could only wonder what he was up to. Just as she was about to enter, he told her to close her eyes, and then slowly opened the door. She walked into something that looked like it came right out of one of those romantic beautiful-and-rich-princess-meets-handsome-and-brave-prince type of fairy tales.

There he was, down on one knee, with a ring in one hand and her hand in the other, he finally proposed, his words were simple yet messed up, just like his feelings for her and yet nothing could've seemed more perfect.

I may not be able to understand some things sometimes,

But I will always listen,

I may never be good with words,

Yet I will never tire of talking to you,

I may not know how many stars are in the sky,

But know how to put them in your eyes,

I may not be able to bring you the moon,

Because you shine brighter than it,

I may not know how many grains of sand there are,

Yet I know you wont make me count.

I don't know a thousand and ten things about life and society and how to deal with a girl when she's feeling blue..

But I guess I'll find a teacher and companion in you.

Today I ask you to be mine,

'Cause I know that together we'll be so fine!

MARRY ME ALEXIS.

All she could manage was a smile, as tears came rolling down her pretty cheeks, a very overwhelmed and almost choked "yes" escaped her.

It was snowing, and even in the dimness of the lights, one could tell, that they were both glowing.

by Muf 03:24 0 comments

Eyes shed tears every time they look within,

Yet the shattered heart refuses to cry the hidden malign.

The promise of forever is a plain white lie,

Forever means Convenience, all changes when the "spark" bids goodbye.

A spark in the relationship is what is called love,

Left alone, abandoned is the heart, when love fails to serve.

A fool I was to take love as more than "a spark in the relationship".

A fool to think Love is an eternal bond, an unsaid promise to keep.

Standing right besides you in all your battles, I promised never to leave your hand,

You left me when my life was low, this wound will never mend.

Do I deserve someone like you, asks my deep sunk heart.

And there is a big laughter, I am glad that we fell apart.

My love survived, yours did not because you never loved me,

I rather be alone than be with someone for whom loving me "doesn't come naturally"

Grateful to life for untying the knots, the pillars of which were never strong,

True love survives and stays together, even when things go wrong! 

by Muf 07:33 0 comments

Shonali Bose has directed two powerful scripts earlier in her career, Amu(2005) and Chittagong(2012), both of which didn't manage to get its due at the box office. Her latest film Margarita With a Straw, has been impressing the cinema lovers at international film festivals including an award at the reputed Toronto International Film Festival(TIFF). This one is co-directed by first-time director Nilesh Maniyar, who's been an assistant director for Kaminey earlier. Looking at the trailer of the film, it seems to be Shonali Bose's best film so far, with a powerful performance delivered by the versatile Kalki Koechlin. 
Apparently, Shonali Bose's cousin suffers from the same disability as Kalki's character in the film, and Kalki spent a lot of time with her to prepare herself better for the role. As she says in this recent interview of her's at TIFF, "This is one of the biggest challenge I've had as an actor in a film", it does seem to be her best performance on screen thus far in Bollywood. 

Let's hope the film backed by Viacom18 finds a release in India soon and manages to get its due at the box office unlike the director's previous works. 

SYNOPSIS :
A rebellious young woman with cerebral palsy leaves her home in India to study in New York, unexpectedly falls in love, and embarks on an exhilarating journey of self-discovery.

TRAILER :

by Muf 13:00 0 comments

Photo Courtesy : http://favim.com

I stood there patiently,
To see the idol in red
Along with me waited a thousand
Until their feet bled…
Wishes and dreams they never have an end,
To get one granted I waited there myself.

Folks from everywhere came to see,
The deity, that blesses selflessly.
Adults, children, infants and old
Delayed my visit to the divine soul.

Among this crowd, a voice I heard.
Sweet and melodious like the cuckoo bird.
I tried to get a glimpse, of that sound
When what I saw, got me astound.


An angel in pink, with eyes so brown.
Hair like midnight and face serene
Giggling and laughing she stood with her mom,
Playing with her shadow, she moved round and round.


Her innocence so delicate, just like snow.
Her smile, so cheerful she would make a dreamboat.
Anyone who seemed erupt and raged,
Would get a glance and feel calm like a sage
I wanted to carry her; that little child


Her face was imprinted on my mind,
I was sure she would be lighter than air,
I admired her for the way she stared.

Wonder if she knew where she was,
Wonder where she got her patience from
Wonder when my time would come
When suddenly I realized the temple bells rung.

The queue moved faster as people barged in
The crowd got disorganized and broke the line
I pushed too and stood on my toes
With my hands joined, and my neck stretched
I tried hard to see; the divinity.
Just then next to me I felt
Something; a gentle touch I guess
I turned to see who it was
To my enchantment, there she was…

That darling stood just beside me
Carried by her mother facing the lord.
I forgot for that moment where I was
For next to me was the angel from above.

Her sparkling brown eyes kept me stunned
Her exquisite smile, oh lord I wish she was mine!
He face so beautifully crafted not a single flaw…
She was best work of the heavens that I ever saw.

 I touched her tiny hands so pink.
She smiled; I tried to get her to speak
Just when, her mother turned to me and said
“My baby; she is unsound from birth.”

Startled I stared at that mother’s face
I could see droplets flood her almond eyes
“I heard her voice so sweet just now” (I mumbled)
“She only, just makes noise” (and passed by…)
I glanced again at that child
Wondered; how could the lord be so unkind…?

Just then it struck me why I was there
I looked up again at the idol in red
With so many questions that ran in my head.
I realized then my wish was void.
I shut my eyes and prayed with faith,

“Dear lord; take away this cruel bane
And give her a life that she would want to live, again… and again… “

by Muf 04:01 0 comments

And here I am...

Standing in the middle of the road...

Have no clue where it leads to and where it started..

I can hear my name being called out by the silence..

But don't quite know what this name means...

When I look around I see everybody with me,

Yet it's just the silence that speaks....

I'm almost falling apart 'cause I'm unable to figure out...

How I've got here

Where is it leading

Who I really am.......

~ Plabita Borthakur (manu)

by Muf 14:13 0 comments

Sangeeta beauty parlour does amazing business. It started out as a 100-odd sq. feet non-AC room and today, after over a decade, it's a two-storey AC parlour and has opened shop even in Lokhandwala.

I go to the 'parlour' only for basic services like waxing and threading, like most of us do now, thanks to the flourishing 'salons' for haircuts and 'spas' for more fancy pampering. Yet, Sangeeta aunty always seems to have become fatter like the gold chain around her neck. Unfortunately for us and fortunately for her, unwanted hair grows back quickly.

The place is always teeming with old, loyal clients but for some reason the beauticians are always new. Yet they're a homogenous lot. Something binds them so that despite a couple of them leaving every month and a couple of them joining, the staff seems unchanged, untouched.

One afternoon while having electrically-overheated wax smeared on an arm, I was involuntarily, unwillingly eavesdropping on their conversation which was actually rather interesting. The girl who was reverse-whipping me with a waxing strip was complaining about her bhabhi who apparently can give Lalita Pawar a run for her money. An older woman who was bleaching someone's face 'Shehnaaz Gold' consoled her for a moment and then immediately started to curse her father-in-law's illness that ate into their modest income. The young girl politely interrupted the woman and asked another young girl to take up my idle arm so they could get rid of me faster and in the meanwhile they'd get to catch up. As she opened her mouth to moan about her 'Lalita' bhabhi, her friend began her own laments over her cheating boyfriend. And so they were simultaneously jabbering and simultaneously reverse-whipping me.

The problems keep piling up. Husband problems, children problems, parent problems, Sangeeta aunty problems, landlord problems, crowded train problems, client problems, health problems, financial problems... Like layer upon layer of hot wax, the problems keep piling up in the air-conditioned room, and the women keep pulling them out like hair. They massage their stressed-out lives in circular motions like the back of a semi-nude aunty. They paint their aspirations a bright scarlet like the pretty toes of a teenager. In a place that has beautification as its motive, they try desperately to lighten out their scars. They joke and they fight and they sing and they advise each other to use eggs for their hair and turmeric for their skin and they exchange recipes and they ask each other to bring them things from near their homes because they're cheaper or 'exclusive'; things like peppered banana chips, mobile phone covers, water bottles, padded bras. They bring all their troubles to the parlour and squeeze them out of their hearts like zits. And that, I guess, is what makes them a homogenous set.

Each one of them returns home every evening feeling light, temporarily relieved of their maladies, but alas, like unwanted hair...

by Muf 04:59 0 comments

The sarcastic talk. Your taunts that flock

The short tempered you! You just make me follow you!

Like the turbulent storm, you’re rough and uptight

But when I look into your eyes, you’re just a small mice.

The agitated you get, with the silliest things around,

The tantrums you throw, like a circus clown

You sure have the energy to take a bear down!

The choosy you get, with outstanding reasons,

Surly makes my stomach upset.

But if I look at you and I see a little frown,

Don’t’ worry baby, I’ll tilt the world upside down!

The witty words, and the pranks you play,

Even kids would be in dismay.

The indecisive you get, with the simplest of choice,

I begin to hear your head voice.

The reasons you give when you get caught

Makes my all senses clot!

But when you know, that I’m upset; you give me that hug…

And then I feel like I’m your love bug. 

In the end, all said and done

You’re my favorite, you’re the one… 

by Muf 04:29 0 comments