When I found you, you were helpless

You were good, I couldn't care ‘less’..

You would lie in my thoughts all the time,

Couldn't take you off my mind..

All I seeked for is your happiness,

The sparkle in your eyes when you smile..

Insanity was all you knew,

But you weren't that difficult..

Pain was as if running in your blood,

I wished you could leave it at my door..

About the next I had no clue,

But I promised I would be there with you..

Negativity surrounded your world,

But, positive, was your every single word..

I would do anything for you

cause from my soul I considered you true..

I wouldn't mind being miles away from you,

if that is what would give pleasure to you..

I would forget all my troubles and deal with yours,

cause your smallest comes before my biggest fears..

I could give my life to keep you happy,

cause my love isn't conditional..

It was a dream, until you lied,

perhaps you just wanted the truth to hide..

But the truth wouldn't have hurt me at all,

it was the truth after all..

Maybe I’d have given you boring lectures,

But is it so difficult to listen to it once?

A lie is very hard to take, at least for me,

lies after lies you were killing me..

Your lies weren't big ones no doubt,

but your little lies were enough to snatch out

My world..

from me.....

But I'll still be the same to you..

Cause my love, my friendship, isn't conditional..

I can't care ‘less’........

~ Plabita Borthakur

Beliefs in life. All broke.
Reminiscence. A grieving soak.
Is life a lesson to learn or a plot to be proven wrong?
How to trust again? Where do my ideologies belong?

Where does one go from here?
In front of me, stationed a mirror, reflecting the rear.
Am I waiting for someone to take me into a safe land?
Is it right, this wait? Or should I push myself till the end?

No waiting for external help now.
With self-love, a wish to raise higher above.
Life is a gambit of shelter and sunburn,
Keeping oneself happy, in the now, is the only upturn!

Broken heart misses a few pieces,

The past haunts, its existence never ceases.

A silent knock settles upon the aching heart,

Will you help me make a fresh start?

If I bare my wounds to you,

Will you heal them, rejuvenate too?

Will my depth learn to laugh again?

Will you bear me crack lame jokes and go insane?

Will you leave me and walk away?

Or will you stay and find a way?

And if I open my heart to you once again,

Will you be there for me till the end? 

I went to meet myself in another world,

in a time where magic unfurled..

The course of events took an unnatural swerve,

the nature of which was filled with verve..

I was a part of me and yet transcendent,

attached yet independent..

Flowing through me, a crimson tide,

to the tune of a drumbeat inside..

Forests within,

darken the given..

Afraid of the shadowy distance to cover,

I try to calm my insides till its over..

But the road is long and muddy,

right about now I need a buddy..

In the face of fear I stand,

silently falling apart in a way I cannot understand..

Crumbled to the floor, I lose myself to the reign of darkness,

the lights are all out, its a truth in all its starkness.

The only sound is the thunderous beating of my heart,

against the painful silence of a new start..

Brought together by a glimmer of hope,

for me to be myself again, there is some scope..

And slowly I am joined crease by crease,

by an absent force making my sense of self increase.

Taking over is a sense of vengeance,

with a fuming flagrance..

To rise and be strong,

a process that wont take too long..

Forming an exterior of cold steel,

is somehow the best way to feel..

Off I go fighting with a drive aglow,

the wounds will show..

When I travel from where I am, to where I belong

I cant be waiting for opportunities to come along.

I am the opportunity,

no slave to importunity.

I must be where I can be me,

not where I crumble like the earth below me..

With each stride, I lose the land I once tread,

with every step I lose some more dread..

In this transient phase, caught in a vortex,

nothing to comprehend, its all too complex..

I'm losing memory of where I was, no time to pause,

and to go back to them is a lost cause..

Traveling back or forth, I cannot tell,

a feeling of anticipation I quell..

Moving on there's a light in the end,

along the slope i begin to descend..

Increasing familiarity,

confusing peculiarity..

A figure standing in the distance,

fear becoming a persistence.

It face I know, all to well,

it shares the same story I tell.

Word to word, there is no change,

it is not strange.

It is essentially who i wanted it to be,

I have finally met me.

Eyes shed tears every time they look within,

Yet the shattered heart refuses to cry the hidden malign.

The promise of forever is a plain white lie,

Forever means Convenience, all changes when the "spark" bids goodbye.

A spark in the relationship is what is called love,

Left alone, abandoned is the heart, when love fails to serve.

A fool I was to take love as more than "a spark in the relationship".

A fool to think Love is an eternal bond, an unsaid promise to keep.

Standing right besides you in all your battles, I promised never to leave your hand,

You left me when my life was low, this wound will never mend.

Do I deserve someone like you, asks my deep sunk heart.

And there is a big laughter, I am glad that we fell apart.

My love survived, yours did not because you never loved me,

I rather be alone than be with someone for whom loving me "doesn't come naturally"

Grateful to life for untying the knots, the pillars of which were never strong,

True love survives and stays together, even when things go wrong! 

Photo Courtesy : http://favim.com

I stood there patiently,
To see the idol in red
Along with me waited a thousand
Until their feet bled…
Wishes and dreams they never have an end,
To get one granted I waited there myself.

Folks from everywhere came to see,
The deity, that blesses selflessly.
Adults, children, infants and old
Delayed my visit to the divine soul.

Among this crowd, a voice I heard.
Sweet and melodious like the cuckoo bird.
I tried to get a glimpse, of that sound
When what I saw, got me astound.


An angel in pink, with eyes so brown.
Hair like midnight and face serene
Giggling and laughing she stood with her mom,
Playing with her shadow, she moved round and round.


Her innocence so delicate, just like snow.
Her smile, so cheerful she would make a dreamboat.
Anyone who seemed erupt and raged,
Would get a glance and feel calm like a sage
I wanted to carry her; that little child


Her face was imprinted on my mind,
I was sure she would be lighter than air,
I admired her for the way she stared.

Wonder if she knew where she was,
Wonder where she got her patience from
Wonder when my time would come
When suddenly I realized the temple bells rung.

The queue moved faster as people barged in
The crowd got disorganized and broke the line
I pushed too and stood on my toes
With my hands joined, and my neck stretched
I tried hard to see; the divinity.
Just then next to me I felt
Something; a gentle touch I guess
I turned to see who it was
To my enchantment, there she was…

That darling stood just beside me
Carried by her mother facing the lord.
I forgot for that moment where I was
For next to me was the angel from above.

Her sparkling brown eyes kept me stunned
Her exquisite smile, oh lord I wish she was mine!
He face so beautifully crafted not a single flaw…
She was best work of the heavens that I ever saw.

 I touched her tiny hands so pink.
She smiled; I tried to get her to speak
Just when, her mother turned to me and said
“My baby; she is unsound from birth.”

Startled I stared at that mother’s face
I could see droplets flood her almond eyes
“I heard her voice so sweet just now” (I mumbled)
“She only, just makes noise” (and passed by…)
I glanced again at that child
Wondered; how could the lord be so unkind…?

Just then it struck me why I was there
I looked up again at the idol in red
With so many questions that ran in my head.
I realized then my wish was void.
I shut my eyes and prayed with faith,

“Dear lord; take away this cruel bane
And give her a life that she would want to live, again… and again… “

And here I am...

Standing in the middle of the road...

Have no clue where it leads to and where it started..

I can hear my name being called out by the silence..

But don't quite know what this name means...

When I look around I see everybody with me,

Yet it's just the silence that speaks....

I'm almost falling apart 'cause I'm unable to figure out...

How I've got here

Where is it leading

Who I really am.......

~ Plabita Borthakur (manu)

The sarcastic talk. Your taunts that flock

The short tempered you! You just make me follow you!

Like the turbulent storm, you’re rough and uptight

But when I look into your eyes, you’re just a small mice.

The agitated you get, with the silliest things around,

The tantrums you throw, like a circus clown

You sure have the energy to take a bear down!

The choosy you get, with outstanding reasons,

Surly makes my stomach upset.

But if I look at you and I see a little frown,

Don’t’ worry baby, I’ll tilt the world upside down!

The witty words, and the pranks you play,

Even kids would be in dismay.

The indecisive you get, with the simplest of choice,

I begin to hear your head voice.

The reasons you give when you get caught

Makes my all senses clot!

But when you know, that I’m upset; you give me that hug…

And then I feel like I’m your love bug. 

In the end, all said and done

You’re my favorite, you’re the one… 

You're just like the sand under the scorching red sun..

The more I try to grab you,

You slip away through my fingers leaving them half burnt...

but if I don't try at all,

I wouldn't feel you even for that little time till you slip away!

not that I would die without you,

not that I intend to burn myself into ashes..

but the 'something' that you did to my soul,

left me helpless in a fake bliss.......

~ Plabita Borthakur (manu)

The world around me often falls apart,
it simply fails to impart -

Any sense of glory and aplomb,
At best, it remains a ticking bomb.
One which I fear will blow me to bits,
Fragmented to frame a truth without benefits.

The world around me often falls apart,
Always at the tip of a dart.

It is in ruins that I find myself,
Depraved of a singular notion of the "self"
In the ruins of the past,
I see the foundation bicker, at last.
I learn a humble lesson or two,
On errors defined falsely as "too few"

The world around me often falls apart,
Devastatingly aiming for a brand new start.

I yearn for the experience of a world yet to be born,
While living along the frayed edges of a paper - torn.
I have seen myself through many faces,
My mind has traversed to a thousand places.
I bare yet, the same set of eyes,
My visions change, reality seldom complies.
Interrupted by chattering, from a dream like trance,
Cretins yammering on of a priestly stance.

The world around me often falls apart,
Imploring me to finally depart.

Today he loves me,

Tomorrow he fights, but still it takes me, to decide the right.

Today he argues, the next hour he laughs,

And I wonder how he changes so fast.

Like a module his temper is small,

But he would make sure, he remembers them all.

And sometimes, someday when I explode,

I don’t know how he has it all under control.

At eight he hugs me, at ten he stares,

At twelve he loves me, at three he glares.

And all I see when I look at him,

Is the time that changes along with him.

Dear lord.. Did you create him while eating a lime?

Why does his mind change with time?

He tickles me at five, he is angry at seven,

Do I know exactly what’s he angry for then?

I try real hard to change with him,

It’s not so easy; it’s like bending a pin.

Now this was the evening show, the night is left,

God get the time slow!

At eight in the night he’s calm alright,

At ten he’s alarmed and sometimes he cries.

I look at him and think to myself,

Should I talk to him? Or leave a note on the shelf?

And when I decide what could be right,

He wipes his tears and suddenly smiles.

Dear lord.. Did you create him while eating a lime?

Why does his mind change with time?

But even though his mind changes with time,

When I need him he is always my partner in crime.

She spent hours trying to look effortlessly well put together with the right kind of a carelessly messy bun,
He spent hours trying to get the perfect tan, toiling away under the harsh summer sun.

Time slowly watched and smiled, at a leisurely pace it went by,
Letting them gaze into each others eyes, and plainly let out a sigh.
Typical as it may seem,
But that's the content of many a dream.

They wasted time trying to impress each other,
They had no idea what it meant to the significant other -
They arrived together, gazed into each others eyes,
Across tables, their lives intersected over words from the "wise"
They could never focus on anything outside of their fuzzy feeling,
Even when the people they came with, admired the proposal rings.

That day, they were proclaimed man and wife.
Wedded to other people for life.

You have always given me love..

All I've always caused is pain..

You don't have to act any tough..

Your pretense would just go in vain!

They say we complement each other..

And that we look cute together..

They hardly with their eyes can see..

The dark and evil side of me!

Too much pain and not a scream

Do you think it's all a dream?

But seems like your heart just bled

And this feeling makes me dread!

Hurt is what I hate to give

But hurt is all I have to give you.....

~ Plabita Borthakur (manu)

I have invested my capital of love,

In the company of your heart...

I assure you, my love will be the working capital of your company,

And your's will be my Life Insurance Policy...

I will supply in bulk my care to you,

And will fulfill all the promises that are due..

I will lend you the loan of my love,

And won't even charge the interest for above..

In your bank of trust, i'll keep my securities,

And for that, i know, i'll need no guarantees..

I will appreciate all the assets - that are your gifts,

And.. lemme guess.. according to you,

My liabilities would be lots n lots of hugs and kisses ??? ;)

There will be no employee, no boss,

The organisation of our life will never make a loss...

I will purchase all your sadness,

And sell you all the happiness..

Let us never be debtor or a creditor..

Since we both can not stay away from each other..

Let us promise :

"we'll always be at each other's side,
thus forming a merger of our lives... "

I don't want you..

Things could be so much better without you,
you know.
But you still won't leave me alone.
Will you?

Let me live
in today
for tomorrow.
Oh yesterday!
Please don't follow!

Haunting me
with every passing second
You're cruel
but all I can do is wait...

For days to become years
For time to cover you in its cloak
For you to fade away from my mind
But I know you

I know you still won't leave me!
Oh yesterday!
Go away!

~ Plabita Borthakur (manu)

कभी रोशनी तुम्हारे घर आती होगी,

मेरे घर आती है मगर अँधेरे से डरती है,

कभी खुशियों की बौछार से तुम्हारा घर खिल उठता होगा,

मेरे घर तो ख़ुशी कंबख़्त दुख के साथ आती है। 

खुशनसीब होते है वह लम्हे जब तुम साथ होते हो,

क्या घर,क्या रोशनी,क्या ख़ुशी,

सब कुछ तुम खुदमें समाए बैठे हो,

तुम्हे छूती हुँ तो लगता है ऐसे,

के जैसे तुम्हे कई बार गले लगा चुकी हुँ,

ज़िस्म तो सिर्फ कहने के लिए है,

आत्मसमर्पण तो कब का कर चुकी हुँ। 

----यशश्री (मनस्विनी)

Unchaahi raahon par the hum chale

sapno ko karke raakh the hum jale

Bandh pinjre mein ghut 

rahe the jaise

Panchi udne ko hai tarse

Chaaya tha kuch aisa andhera

Intezaar tha ki kab hoga savera

Pukar rahi thi

Manzil ki woh raahein

Samajhne lagi thi un

Ishaaron ko meri nigaahein

Aankhon ko meechkar 

Mehsus karke hai jaana

Hume toh bas

Apni manzil ko hai paana

Kar rahe the woh

Jo kaha tumne

Seh rahe the zulm

Jo diye tumne

Par ab yeh dil hai ro raha...

Kehta hai... Ab Toh Jee Le Zara...